I always struggled with finding an online nickname for myself. I was never given one, and over the years I used a few here and there, ranging from Nordic gods to my favourite fantasy character: Gandalf the Grey.

I intended to create a tech blog to document my journey ever since I started my career change. But for months I was stopped by trying to decide on a name. (That’s me in a nutshell), because it needed to be perfect. Eventually I decided to just use my full name.

Although I have zero connections with Russia, neither genetically nor culturally, my parents decided to give me a name of Russian origin: Mischa.

According to this website, Mischa has the following meaning:

“The name Mischa is primarily a gender-neutral name of Russian origin that means Who Is Like God“

Although I admire my parents for giving me such an ambitious name, I must confess that I turned out to be of a much more earthy and less godly nature.

When I was younger, an old gymnastics teacher once told me that Mischa meant “bear” in Russian, and I always liked that connotation much more. I also turned out to be more bear-like than god-like, being 190cm tall and having thick and bristly curly hair.

Indeed, this post on Quora confirms that my name indeed has the meaning of bear:

“In Russia Mishka sometimes also used to denote a bear, particularly a bear cub.” Misha Sivan, Born in USSR.

Although I am conveniently ignoring the “cub” part of his explanation, I thought it was pretty cool that my actual name had connotations with our ursine friends.

Moreover, I lived 9 years in Norway where I roamed the mountains for weeks at a time, just me and my tent and a fishing rod. I developed a very close connection with nature during those years. Not only its beauty, but also its merciless forces and awe-inspiring ingenuity.

Although I never encountered a bear myself, they are most definitely present in the Norwegian nature. One time the newspapers told me that there was a bear sighted 4 kilometers from where I was camping one weekend.

But this is what the bear represents to me: the time I was allowed to spend in the North and the resulting connection with nature. The solitary character of the male, calmly roaming for many miles in search of sustenance. A force to be reckoned with when aggravated, but in general preferring to stay at a distance.